What If We Stopped Being So Critical of Ourselves?

What if, for Women's Day, we stopped focusing on everything we don't like about ourselves?

I can honestly say, to my own embarrassment, that I have a list.

Things I don't like about myself.

My legs. My hands. Things that don't quite look the way I think they should.

And if I'm really honest, most of these are things that nobody else probably notices. And certainly nobody else cares about them as much as I do.

Yet somehow, we can become experts at finding fault with ourselves.

I've sat in workshops where the question has been asked, "So, what do you like about yourself?"

I have to really think about it.

Even in my daily gratitude journal, I have a section that asks, "What do I love about myself?"

And sometimes, that is surprisingly difficult to answer.

Why is that?

Why can we so easily identify what we don't like, but struggle to name what we appreciate?

Perhaps we have simply become conditioned to look at ourselves through a critical lens.

We notice the grey hair before we notice the years of experience behind it. We notice the wrinkles before we remember the laughter we enjoyed. We notice the shape of our legs rather than every kilometer it carried us. We notice the body that has changed rather than everything that body has taken us through.

And every now and then, something shifts for me.

I have moments of genuine gratitude when I look at something I have criticised for years and see it differently.

I look at these legs that I can be so critical of, and I think:

These legs have carried me for almost 60 years.

They still walk. They hike. They even run. Actually, that's something.

And it makes me wonder how differently we might feel about ourselves if we spent more time appreciating what our bodies do for us, rather than judging how they look.

Because so many of the stories we tell ourselves exist entirely in our own heads.

The little voice that tells us our arms are too fat. Our stomach isn't flat enough. Our hair doesn't look right. Our skin isn't what it used to be. We look in the mirror and immediately start editing ourselves.

But what if we stopped?

What if, just for a moment, we looked at ourselves with the same kindness we so readily offer other people? 

I don't think this means pretending we love every part of ourselves.

It means perhaps being a little less cruel about the parts we don't.

There is something quite liberating about saying, "This is me. This is the body I have. And it has carried me this far."

So this Women's Day, I have a personal challenge.

Rather than celebrating what I am not, I want to celebrate who I am.

Not because everything is perfect.

Not because I've suddenly learned to love every part of myself.

But because I think I owe myself a little more kindness.

Maybe you do too.

So here's the question I'd like to leave you with:

What is one thing about yourself that you could stop criticising and start appreciating?

It might be your legs.

Your hands.

Your laugh.

Your resilience.

Your ability to keep going.

Or perhaps simply the fact that, after everything life has thrown at you, you're still here.

That's something worth celebrating.